Life

Suffering is the collision between Love and Destiny.
Everything else is just music and songs.

-Rodney Roberts

You're never lonelier when... (a.k.a. The Loser's Post)

This was supposed to be another list-post.

Fuck it. It wasn't worth posting.

Phew

oday, I am reminded that when things do not look to nice and shiny, and when you are feeling like giving the world a piece of your mind and to stop making the effort to be a genuinely nice person, all it takes is a little reciprocation to remind you that it only takes a little thoughtfulness and consideration to make someone else happy.

And the best part about it is, it doesn't cost you anything at all.


http://www.xanga.com/joethedude


Thank you, Grey, for that candle of sanity.

525,600 Seasons of Suicide (Where Shade Discovers Ctrl+B)

HOLY HOMICIDAL HOMO-SAPIENS BATMAN!

What the fuck is up with this sudden surge in people coming up to me and going:


"Keith...should I kill myself? I really really wanna kill myself"
or
"Keith...should I get doped up? I can't face life!"
or
"I want to become a monk. No really. I'm serious. This world is too much for me. I can't face it anymore. I wanna hide up in a little cave and blah blah blah".


"Why?"


"My boss treats me like shit."
"I think my boyfriend might be cheating on me."
"I lost my phone."
"My girl whom I refused to give a commitment to doesn't wanna be with me anymore."
"I don't know which guy to choose and I'm guilt-ridden."
"My goldfish died."
and my all-time favourite...
"I wanna kill myself because I need love."

"..."

At this point I /wrists.

SERIOUSLY! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?
You come to me telling me that you want to fuck your own self over because you got fucked over?
I understand about overriding emotions, hormonal imbalances and depression but the one distinguishing feature that differentiates humans from animals is the ability to USE THAT BRAIN.

Welcome to Shade's 3 Step Program.
There is a problem.
1) Identify it.
2) Fix it.
3) Get over it.


It's not as if somebody died. (Goldfish/hamster doesn't count). I say again...you want to fuck your own self over because you got fucked over?
All this tells me is you're a Dramattention* whore. You want the attention and because you want your problem to be the single biggest tragedy since Walker, Texas Ranger your decide to go for the over-dramatic approach.

You want my attention? "Keith! You'll never guess what happened! My boss just stole my handphone and had sex with my best friend's girlfriend's pet goldfish! And it died from anal trauma! And now he won't take responsibility!"

Don't do the big dramatic opening with me please.

It makes me want to /wrists x 525600 (cos I don't really wanna die. It's just a dramatic response.)

Why Singaporean Women Throw Themselves at Expats

1. Most expats can't differentiate one Asian from another. All Chinese / Malay / Indian / Horribly Disfigured Asian Women fall under the category of "Exotic".
2. They tend to be bigger sized. That makes big girls feel small and small girls feel secure. Expats got noticed first thus leaving all our local big guys in the dust.
3. They're rich and powerful. They can afford to throw money around. DUH. If I were an expat overseas I'd have the same spending power. Local entrepreneurs don't have time to bother flirting with flighty local women who can't see beyond the rich and powerful ang moh's money flashing. Sadly our local boys have to be filial and give money to their mums.
   
4. Expats are sweeter and more charming. Of course if any local boy tried any of the moves/lines they pulled they'd be forced to bust out a kung-fu block that all Asians guys are trained in from young. This is because of the incoming kung-fu slap for being so cheeky. When expat tries it the girls just go "Teeheegiggle He just said he wanted to sleep with me cos I have nice tits! teeheehee".
5. Expats are manly and will fight for the rights of their women. Newsflash. They're just drunk. People who really know how to fight (like myself) would rather walk away. I might accidently kill you. I have nothing to prove. I already know my penis is longer, thicker and harder than yours. If proven otherwise I can incapacitate your penis. Plus I expect my women to be able to defend themselves to a certain degree with a smart tongue and a quick knee. Please don't fall for that redundant display of aggression.
6. Thrown feminine projectiles can be intimidating, especially when said projectile is heavier. Chinese man go splat. Expat likee go splat. (dumbasses)
7. Expats have big dicks. True. God turned to them one day and said "The bad news is you're gonna be as dumb as a chihuahua. The good news is that it won't matter one bit." (If you didn't catch the chihuahua reference then u're as dumb as an expat.)
   

If you are an expat reading this and you're getting angry, get a sense of humour. I've been laughing at slanty-eyed chink/gook jokes for years.

I do not hate expats. I just get annoyed that our local women act like evangelical City Harvest-ers around them.

Crystal Meth In Perspective

Crystal Meth is the by-product of Rednecks and applied Science.

I'm all for illegal herbage and synthetic stimuli but you'd need an IQ 1 point above retardation to want to try anything that originated from the bottom of a petri-dish last handled by a redneck who just finished reading Alchemy 101 For Dummies.

Even the retards won't try it. So what does that make you?

Well I'm Back...

If you're reading this then you're probably already mentally prepared to be intellectually insulted and condescended at.

You're welcome to comment on any of my posts because I don't care what you have to say.

The theme of course had to be black because this blog is supposed to be deep and emo.

I'll end my first post by saying that I think most of you suck. The one's that don't suck, you know who you are anyway. Do you?