I Like To See What I Breath

As every smoker will attest to, smoking is less of an addiction than it is a habit. The addictive urge is easier suppressed then we let on. It takes decades to truly get hooked in my opinion. What really kills us is not having anything to do when, well, when there's nothing to do.

Since everybody likes lists as opposed to walls of text, here's why smokers smoke...

1. Smoking is the best short-term self-reward program we concoct, i.e. "I'll give myself a smoke break as soon as I finish this e-mail." I believe this is where the myth that smoking relieves stress comes from. Smoking actually chemically elevates stress levels. Stress is a mental thing, however, so whatever works then.
   
2. Smoking facilitates social dynamics. Nothing breaks the ice or bonds people faster than a smoke break. "Wanna go for a smoko? Oh, you smoke sampoerna? I used to smoke that. They're awesome. Can I have one?" A smoker joins a new company or social group knowing that all the smokers will quickly become his friends.
3. Smoking expedites public transportation. Every smoker knows taxis and busses never appear until you light up that stick. So the trick is to head to pick-up point, wait for 2 minutes and then light up. Instantly 5 taxis will appear. Light a cuban cigar and the CEO of the LTA will pick you up personally.
4. Beer tastes so much better with a cigarette.
5. Cigarettes provide energy boosts. The best 2.4km runners are almost always smokers.
6. With the ban of smoking in clubs, I'm sure "Wanna step outside for a quick one?" is a feasible pickup line now. Guys, let me know.
   *Note: Make sure target is a smoker as well first. Or not. Depends on what kind of smoko she has in mind.
   
7. Smoking is a lifestyle. Some people go to winepubs after work. Some people love their coffee/beer/etc. We like our kopitiams and hoonkie. Once again, social bonding.
   
8. Cigarettes are just so good after dirty sex...
9. Civic Conscientiousness! Smokers shit and smoke and stoners smoke shit. Either way, your toilets soon smell better. Would you rather walk into a smoke-filled toilet cubicle or a a cubicle stinking of shit? It is always a well known fact that the combination of fumes are conducive to creative thinking. Archimedes was probably on a bowl with a cigar instead of his bath when he screamed Eureka! Damn the censors... (thanks Mars)
   

I'm sure I missed out lots. Gimme more!